Grief and loss are inevitable in life. How we deal with it determines the degree of suffering we will experience surrounding it.
It is important to feel our grief and to honor it. If we run from it, resist it or reject it we will carry it forward with us as blocked energy and emotionality. To feel it and release it is healthy and healing.
It is important to allow ourselves the expression of grief and to know what stories we’re telling ourselves. What other feelings and emotions are getting in the way of our expression of loss. What thoughts, beliefs, or emotions may be complicating our capacity to simply grieve and release the true emotion.
The body always wants to heal itself. If we trust in our body’s innate capacity to heal, then we find our way through these difficult times.
Dance it, move it, draw it, write it out …find ways to express it with your creative self. Turn towards it, open up to it, lean into it, embrace it, making space for it, with out getting lost in it.
Grief comes in waves. It doesn’t stay at full intensity. It comes and goes. Rest and redirect your attention in between these times of intense grief. Connect with others who are supportive and love you.
Be good to your self. Watch the stories you are telling yourself around the loss. If these patterns and habits are unsupportive or negative then shift them to a perspective of compassion, kindness and connect with others.
Grief is felt by everyone. There are millions of others who feel the loss of loved ones as well. It is a greater whole experience.
You are not alone. We are never alone, even when we feel our most alone and scared. Grief is meant to be felt through, shared, expressed creatively through the heart.
Place one hand on your belly and the other on your heart , breathe slowly and feel the connection between your two hands. Place one hand on your forehead and the other on your heart and again feel the connection between your two warm hands and slow down your breath. Place one hand on the back of your head and the other hand on your forehead. Again, breathe and feel the connection.
Nurture your heart with soothing music, gently movement, inspiring art or writing and time spent with friends or family that support you. Treat yourself with the best care you know how and surround yourself with others who will do the same.
In short, be good to yourself. Let go of self judgement. This holds for any situation but especially during times of grief. This intense loss will pass but its here telling you that you have loved and cared deeply. Take heart in knowing that.
Photograph by Audrey Jolly