Audrey Jolly Therapy

Inner Judges, Critics, & Saboteurs

Posted May 13th, 2018 in Mental Health, Depression, Shame

Inner Judges, Critics, & Saboteurs

Inner judges, critics, & saboteurs block our health, vitality, creativity and success in relationships. Definition of sabotage - a deliberate action aimed at weakening an effort through subversion, obstruction, disruption or destruction."What personal actions sabotage your dreams, goals and relationships?" We are constantly sabotaging ourselves and others. Best to acknowledge it, find out why and get on the road to creating more awareness and healing.

I was at an art salon a few weeks ago. I was there to read my short story, Ghost House. It's an excerpt from the book I'm writing on creativity and healing. The video below is a reading of the story with paintings, photos and soundtrack. I'm pleased to say it won second prize in a short fiction/memoir  writing contest with Muskoka Authors Association. 

A woman was asked to introduce her watercolour paintings and she launched into a whole diatribe against herself: how she couldn't possibly dr  aw with the detail of another artist who was presenting his work on the same evening after her. I listened to so much then spoke up in defence of her saying, "You're being so negative, just tell us about how you get this wonderful flow and colour in your own work." She replied under her breath, "I've been told that (being so negative) all my life." In my world that is someone who is suffering and doesn't need to be. It's not a life sentence. It's no way to live. If this is you, you don't need to sit in that black hole and eat shit all your life.  Negativity can be helped. Not everyone is interested in working to heal the hurt or mistreated parts of of the self that likely received negativity and judgement growing up and hasn't learned another way of being. One that is more positive and supportive. 

What comes to mind for me is BABY STEPS. What are the baby steps that you can take to begin to shift from stuck, bound and mobilized by inner saboteurs, judges and critics to more flow, freedom, peace and joy?

First is to recognize that all negative thoughts, beliefs and emotions (even our feelings in the body) are learned and can be unlearned, released, and healthier habits put in place. Habits that will serve you better. I also believe that there are no bad parts to us. Negativity, judgement, criticism, shame, blame, guilt, gossip is done in an attempt to cope with low self-confidence, insecurity, fear, low self-esteem. They are low frequency defence mechanism, protectors, guards and when we find alternate ways to do that for ourselves, i.e.; healthy boundaries we no longer have a need for negativity in our lives. The result is a much happier, healthier, lighter existence with strong, healthy relationships around us to support that even further.  


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